Why Moms Stop Wanting Sex
Let’s face it: parenthood changes everything, including your sex life. Between sleepless nights, endless to-dos and the mental load of running a household, intimacy often takes a back seat.
I spoke with Dr. Marlene Wasserman, aka Dr. Eve, a clinical sexologist and trauma therapist, about navigating sexual relationships after kids. Her insights are a mix of science, compassion and practical advice, exactly what we moms need.
Relaxation Isn’t a Luxury, It’s Libido Fuel
One of the first things Dr. Eve emphasizes: relaxation is essential for desire. Stress, constant adrenaline and exhaustion kills your sex drive. Taking even a few quiet moments for yourself, like a bath, a walk or a deep-breathing session, can help reconnect you with your sexual self.
💚 Tip: Prioritise small pockets of self-care. Even 10 minutes of intentional me time can make a difference.
Communication Is Everything
Differences in sexual desire are normal, especially when one partner is exhausted from parenting. Dr. Eve encourages couples to openly discuss needs and find a rhythm that works for both. It’s not about frequency; it’s about connection.
💚 Tip: Regularly check in with your partner and focus on quality, not quantity, of intimate moments.
Adrenaline vs. Desire
High stress and constant fight or flight can block sexual desire. While short bursts of adrenaline can enhance excitement, chronic stress suppresses it. Managing stress is essential not just for your relationship, but for your overall well-being.
💚 Tip: Exercise, mindfulness or therapy can help reduce stress and improve libido.
Body Image and Self-Acceptance
Social media and societal pressures can make moms feel self-conscious, impacting sex drive. Dr. Eve stresses self-compassion and embracing your body as it is. Choose clothing that makes you feel good, positive affirmations and limiting harmful comparisons and social media.
💚 Tip: Focus on confidence, not perfection. Your self-acceptance is contagious.
Navigating Fear and Barriers
Fears like unintended pregnancy or hormonal changes can dampen intimacy. Addressing contraception, family planning and hormonal education helps remove obstacles, making sexual connection more relaxed and enjoyable.
💚 Tip: Talk openly with your partner about fears, plan ahead and seek professional advice if needed.
Redefining Connection
Intimacy isn’t just sex, it’s touch, affection, laughter and emotional closeness. Dr. Eve encourages couples to explore new ways to connect and cherish the evolving sexual relationship post-children.
💚 Tip: Hold hands, cuddle, give compliments or share activities that bring you joy, it all counts toward intimacy.
The Takeaway
Sex after kids isn’t a downgrade, it’s an evolution. With communication, self-care and patience, it can become even more fulfilling than before.
So moms, give yourselves permission to relax, communicate, and rediscover intimacy, because you deserve it.